It's been10 years since a phone call from my newly departed, estranged husband (yes, you read that right) set me on the path of self acceptance. A path that would prove to be the most frightening and yet, most rewarding of my life. May 19th, 2012 was the beginning of my learning to walk in Faith vs. Fear.
That was the day I had to start to face my greatest fear: I was much more than who others told me I could ever be.
10 years. That's 520 Weeks; 3650 Days; 87,500 hours; 525,000 minutes; 31,500,000 seconds, but hey, who's counting? Obviously me...
I have spend the last 10 years:
Struggling to hold unto the version of myself that best fit within the constructs of who others told me to be through their words and their actions (or should I say, what I perceived their words or actions to mean).
Trying to break through the self-imposed boundaries of my limiting self beliefs when I wasn't even sure what they were.
Uncovering a Belief System that, for you and me, began to form at a tender age of 2 or 3.
Coming to the point where I could finally commit to be 100% me, when in truth, I had no idea how to do that with ease.
Expanding into the Incorporation with Universal Energy.
Allowing myself to share with others the fullness of my truth...I was born to be the portal thru which God Speaks.
Believe me, there have been many days over the past 10 years when I have felt the weight of every extended second of that journey and yet, in retrospect, it has flown by in the blink of an eye. Each moment of struggle, each moment of clarity, each moment of service and each moment of self-discovery came through unexpectedly. Quicker than I could have ever believed.
Today, as I look back on the Journey of the last 10 years I see that when I allowed myself to move in Faith, all things moved with ease. It was only in the moments when I allowed fear to lead that I struggled mightily. Admittedly, for the majority of my 61 years, fear has been my default energy. It wasn't until more recently that I consciously chose to allow Faith to lead. You see, when fear is your haphazard default, you need to choose to live in mindful awareness so you can see the hidden beliefs that keep you in F>E>A>R (False Evidence Appearing Real). Faith is the truth of our ability to receive limitless abundance because "I am me"! Fear is the lie that we are not worthy because "I am me".
I've come to see, Fear is the cage our egoic mind keeps us in , and Faith is the key that sets us free from the limiting self- beliefs that reinforce the lie. The trick is to be aware so that you can realize the moment your mind starts speaking the lie!
It's taken me 10 years to realize the truth of my worth is the same as yours. It is given at our birth. So today I can say, without guilt or shame, I was born to be an exceptional human being. It's taken me 10 years to see that truth applies to EVERYONE, including me!
10 years is a long time... I'm excited to see what living in Faith will bring!